


A Safe Bet

by kultiras



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bets & Wagers, Community: trope_bingo, Forbidden Fruit, M/M, Team Bonding, no really don't touch the fruit, team fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-31
Updated: 2013-10-31
Packaged: 2017-12-31 01:59:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1025955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kultiras/pseuds/kultiras
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This wasn't what Phil expected to find when he came home, but it isn't the oddest thing he's found the Avengers doing either.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Safe Bet

It had been a long day full of paperwork, and Phil was just so glad to be back home. While the day had been a nice change from the more chaotic missions and national threats, dealing with the paperwork for (and also caused by) the Avengers Initiative was nothing short of a headache-inducing pain. He’d spent the last couple hours of work looking at the clock every few minutes, hoping that time would just move faster so that he could leave and hopefully begin his relaxing weekend off.

He dropped off his briefcase in his home office, and wandered into his bedroom to change into something better suited for an evening in the tower. A few minutes later, dressed in a long sleeve sweater and comfy slacks, Phil headed for the kitchen in search of something to snack on.

Fridays, barring any unanticipated commotions, were take-out nights in the tower. Phil knew that it would still be some time, before the food arrived, so he decided to grab some fruit before looking for Clint and the others. 

But the fruit wasn’t so easy to locate.

“JARVIS? Didn’t we have a huge bag of apples around here this morning?” Phil asked as he looked around the kitchen in confusion, opening random cupboards and drawers as he searched for the missing fruit.

“We did, Agent Coulson,” the AI responded, “The fruit’s still here, just no longer in the kitchen.”

“Well where is it?” Phil asked.

“I believe Agent Barton has most of them.”

“What? Clint likes apples, but he doesn’t need a dozen of them,” Phil said.

“I’m afraid they were commandeered for a team exercise,” JARVIS replied.

“…All of them?” Phil asked, “Don’t explain, I don’t need to know. Is there any other fruit in the kitchen that hasn’t been claimed by someone?”

“They have all the fruit, Sir,” JARVIS said apologetically, “From all of their kitchens. Might I suggest you opt for some carrot sticks instead? Those have been left alone.”

Phil paused at that. “JARVIS,” he said, rubbing his hands over his face, “Do I want to know why they have all the fruit?”

“I’m afraid I can’t determine the answer for you, but if you decide to find out, they’re in the den.”

“Thanks JARVIS,” Phil said as he grabbed a bag of carrot sticks from the fridge.

“You’re quite welcome, Sir. And if I may, Agent Coulson? I can assure you that they haven’t broken anything or anyone while they’ve been in there,” JARVIS said helpfully.

“That actually is a relief,” Phil said. Checking only to make sure he closed the fridge door, Phil headed down the hallway toward the den.

Despite the fact that he knew the Avengers had grabbed all of the fruit they owned, he somehow still wasn’t prepared for the sight he saw as he entered the room. Clint was in the process of flipping in the air while simultaneously throwing a dart at the dartboard across the room. Bruce was standing nearby, apparently keeping score for what seemed to be a four-person dart-throwing competition.

Natasha and Thor stood watching, each with a tinypile of fruit in front of them. Steve, who was sitting on the sofa discussing Clint’s shot with Tony, had a pile that only seemed to contain a couple more pieces of fruit than theirs. But Clint’s pile of fruit was massive, which really wasn’t surprising given the fact that it was a marksmanship competition. 

Clint landed, grinning as the dart landed closer to the center than any of the others on the board. “Pay up,” he said to the others.

Natasha tossed a couple of persimmons in his direction, Steve threw him an apple, and Thor handed over a whole bunch of grapes. Phil shook his head and smiling, walked into the room.

“So this is where all the fruit went,” he said, “Any chance I can get one of those apples?”

“To hold? Sure. To eat? Nope. The rules are clear on this: any fruit that is eaten or otherwise missing can’t be counted as part of the final score. I’d give you one, but right now, I’m about fifteen pieces of fruit away from a new record,” Clint said. 

“Okay…and the reason you’re playing with fruit is?” Phil asked. 

“There’s not much else we can play with. We’re not playing for sexual favors or chores, because neither of those end well,” Tony said.

“Can’t play for weapons if we all use different things to begin with, and betting for money is not as much fun with limits involved,” continued Natasha.

“Plus we all agreed, no strip games unless everyone wants to play and agrees to the rules,” Clint added. “Oh, and as for why fruit, we have a lot of it, and unlike chocolate, it won’t melt. We could play without betting, but where’s the fun in that?”

“Enough talking,” Tony interrupted, “It’s my turn to decide.”

“It’s not your turn,” Bruce corrected him. “You’ve been out of the game since you lost your last piece of fruit. It’s Steve’s turn.”

“And I have a good one. Usual stakes. Aim from a standing position, spin around five times at high speed—I’m sure one of us would be willing to help with that—flip into a handstand, and make your shot from that position,” Steve said.

“What?” Phil asked in surprise.

“Coulson, it’s a dart-throwing competition,” Natasha said with a laugh. “He’s going to win. Any shot that we can make, he can make. There’s no point in a competition where he keeps throwing darts until he misses, because that won’t happen either. So at some point we decided we might as well make him do the most ridiculous, trickiest, or distracting things along the way. It’s more entertaining for us as we lose,” she explained.

“They just can’t make me do anything that could potentially put me out of commission if we have to assemble,” Clint added. “No more dares involving jumping and landing on one foot in four-inch heels.” 

“Dinner will be here soon; better hurry up if you want your new record,” Steve said.

“Right,” Clint said, moving into position. He aimed for the board, then changed positions, and struck a pose before spinning around quickly in his best Wonder Woman impression. As his teammates and Phil laughed, he flipped into a handstand, blinked once and made his shot. It wasn’t a perfect bullseye by Clint’s standards, but it definitely was by anyone else’s.

Thor sighed, but smiled good-naturedly as he handed Clint the last of his fruit. Natasha handed over most of hers as well which left her holding her last apple. Steve was down to a pair of tangerines.

“Set a new record yet?” Phil asked hopefully as Clint and Bruce added the new fruit to Clint’s column on the scoreboard.

“Sorry, Phil, I’m still off by two,” Clint answered with a small smile.

“Food’ll be here in a few though, so at least that’s something,” Tony piped up from the sofa.

“Time for one last try?” Clint asked hopefully.

“Try will be the operative word this time, Clint,” Natasha said smugly. “I have come up with what is guaranteed to be the most distracting thing we could ever ask you to do.”

“Is that right?” Clint said with a smirk, “Let’s hear it.”

“Standing, over the shoulder, no looking at the board…,” she paused and smiled unapologetically at Phil, “while kissing Phil.”

Clint blinked in surprise. Of all the things he’d expected, that hadn’t even been a possibility. And Natasha did have a point—he was easily distracted when Phil was around, even moreso since they finally started dating. He glanced over at Phil who looked just as surprised by Natasha’s challenge. “I’m fine with that, but it’s up to you, Phil,” he said with a shrug. “You should get a say in this too.”

Phil walked over to him and quietly asked, “I’m guessing this is an unusual sort of challenge for you guys?”

“Yes and no,” Clint replied just as quietly, “We’ve been known to drag Pepper in on things before if we’re trying to break Tony’s concentration. But yeah, it’s a first for me. Are you okay with it?”

“Am I as big a distraction for you as Natasha thinks I am? I don’t want to ruin your chance at setting a new record for yourself,” Phil said.

“So the thing is, yes. You are absolutely a huge distraction to me. When we’re in the same room, you usually have most of my focus if not all of it, even when you shouldn’t. But that’s because this is new. I am so much more used to being focused when you’re around. You’ve been the voice in my ears for years, and honestly? It usually helps me shoot straighter,” Clint said. He smiled at Phil, “So I don’t think we have anything to worry about.”

Phil smiled back at him, “Then let’s do it.”

“Nat, you’ve got a deal,” Clint said, grinning back at her. “Where do you want us?”

She raised her eyebrow at him but came over, pulling them both into position a bit farther away from the dartboard. “Whenever you’re ready, turn away from the board, aim, kiss Phil, and throw,” she reminded Clint, walking back to the side of the room to watch.

Clint looked at the dartboard for a moment before turning towards Phil. He aimed the dart over his shoulder and smiled at Phil. Phil smiled as he leaned in to kiss him. As their lips touched, Clint fought the urge to relax completely and instead remained focused on the dartboard behind him.

Without breaking away from Phil, Clint threw the dart. Before it had even connected, he had both arms around Phil. Clint knew he’d made the shot—he could keep kissing Phil for a little while longer.

The cursing that came at them from around the room confirmed what they already knew: it was a perfect bullseye.

They broke apart laughing, and turned to the others. “Pay up!” Clint said, still laughing.

Steve handed over his last fruit, shaking his head as he did so.

Natasha glared at him playfully as she gave him her last apple, “I was sure that would trip you up! You become so distracted whenever Phil enters the room.”

“It was a good guess,” Clint said, “Better luck next time?”

“Maybe,” she said. “It worked out for you though. Has he officially set a new record for himself, Bruce?”

“Mmhm,” Bruce replied. “He set a new record by two pieces of fruit.”

“One,” Clint corrected him.

“No, you only needed two more pieces with that last shot. You got three,” Bruce said.

“Nah,” Clint said, smiling as he handed Natasha’s apple to Phil. “This one was Phil’s.”

Phil smiled back and took a bite of the apple. As Clint gave him another kiss, Phil had to admit that victory never tasted so sweet.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the forbidden fruit square on my [](http://trope-bingo.dreamwidth.org/profile)[**trope_bingo**](http://trope-bingo.dreamwidth.org/) card.


End file.
